To whom it may concern (Attn: Assignment 2)

I welcome any comments you have on this. I think I'm having writer's block! Ah! The ending is proving difficult for me. Note: I've left out the addresses and other formalities for easy reading.

So let's look at what I wrote. I haven't touched it since Sunday -- work is taking up my spare time -- so this will be 'fresh' to me too.

The Letter [part 1]

Attn: Joanne Carter

My cellphone has a ongoing problem with the text messaging display. Because this is the same defect, I want to have the cellphone repaired free of charge or have it replaced.

The warranty covered the first problem after eight months of use. The Repairs Department was able to quickly fix this problem and have it back to me in less than two working days, even though the customer service representative said this may take up to five or more business days. The speed of the service meant that I could keep my shop open for the week and my staff still worked full-time for that week. I considered repairing the phone locally, but Biltmore's quality of service cannot be matched.

The same problem presented itself just after the first anniversary and my warranty is expired.

[Not sure how to word the outcome -- will probably sound the same as the summary. Need help! I'm not sure how to close without sounding pushy.]

[I look forward to your response.]
Linda Ristevski.

The Letter [part 2]

My cellphone has an ongoing problem with the text messaging display. Because of this, I want to have the cellphone repaired free of charge or have it replaced.

The warranty covered the first instance of the problem after eight months of use. The Repairs Department was able to quickly fix it and have it back to me in less than two working days, even though the customer service representative said this could take up to five or more business days. The speed of the service meant that I could keep my shop open for the week and my staff continued working full-time. I considered repairing the phone locally, but Biltmore's quality of service cannot be matched.

The same problem presented itself just after the first anniversary of purchase and my warranty is expired. I trust that Biltmore can repair or replace my cellphone free of charge so that this ongoing problem can be resolved.

I look forward to your response.

Anaylsis

The introduction should be direct because the person who is most likely going to read this is accustom to reading these kinds of complaints and would like to know the problem upfront. not only that, they would probably want t know (or it is in your own best interest to say) what outcome you expect from this situation.

I gave facts and background information in the middle paragraph and created "goodwill" towards the end of that.

I don't know what to say in the next paragraph. I will have to think about it today at work. I have meetings all day and work to do on top of that. But I must. This section should mirror the introduction in some way.

Again, if anyone can make a comment to steer me in the right direction, that would be great.

Reminder! Bring two copies of this assignment to class: one with your name on it to hand in for marking and an anonymous one for a classmate. Then the switch-a-roo!